ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
