Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
