We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
