I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
