Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
