I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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