where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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