The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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