Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
