was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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