ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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