I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
