What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
