You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
