i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
