so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
