your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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