Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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