I want to stick my p in your. b.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
