there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
