Can i not drive my cunt home
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
