I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
