I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
