i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
