we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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