Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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