Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
