My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
