he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
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