we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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