I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
