Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
