i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
