i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
