you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
