and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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