That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
