Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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