Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
