she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
