would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
