I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
