dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
