Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
