piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He did a backflip because drugs
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