I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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