Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is Oprah even human
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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