i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
