I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
