We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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