M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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