You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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