he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
