I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
